Musings of a Singular Nature
Singleness. Quite possibly the single-most dreaded word in a young woman's vocabulary. I have been musing on this topic for quite a while, and I thought I would post some comments, which will undoubtedly lead to more questions rather than provide answers. :) This is my paltry attempt at profundity, a result of my ever-increasing and unending love affair with the written word.
Carolyn McCulley has an apt description for what she terms, "extended singleness." Namely-- "One day past the wedding of a close high school friend." Having at least 4 close high school (or almost high school, if you count CMI :) ) friends get married in the past year (not to mention the unending list of acquaintences, former ministry partners, high school friends, etc.), I can relate to this definition and affirm that it is an accurate statement, at least in my own life. So, what do you DO if you are facing that (admittedly unattractive-- pun intended) prospect?
Methinks that there is a part of every woman's soul that longs to be loved... to find that "second half" of herself that she hopes is out there somewhere. To meet the one who somehow knows her heartbeat, and the one whose heartbeat she shares. To know that SOME young man out there (besides her father and grandfather) thinks that she is beautiful. To have a love so strong that it will last for 50 or 60 years and grow better with age. To love with a committment so deep that even at 70 and 80 they will be able to walk hand in hand down a country lane and enjoy it just as much as they did in their 20's. To know that she is a fit helpmeet for the man of God's choosing. Sentimental? Probably. Unrealistic? Probably. :) Yet, I see those comments and yearnings in women's eyes, whether or not they will admit to the feelings. How do I know? Because I see it in my own reflection in the mirror. Oh, we know how to hide it well. A smile, a laugh, an "I'm doing fine!" can throw most of the population (save the astute viewer) off the track.
Methinks that there is also a tendency to feel that God has somehow abandoned us as single women. In a world that seems filled to overflowing with doubles, why am I still single?! Am I THAT much of an oddball? (Please don't answer that-- that was a rhetorical question :) ). There is a sense of despair that creeps in and settles in the very depths of the soul. It is positively frightful, for one does not realize its presence until it has corrupted much of the mental processes.
What, then, is the solution? Has God abandoned us? It is an issue of sin, plain and simple. And the sin is this: Looking inward instead of God-ward, looking at circumstances instead of the One Who controls all things. Putting God in a box and declaring that someway, somehow, I, His finite creation, knows better! How many different ways are there to say "arrogance and pride"?! There is no easy answer, no "cure all" for the loneliness that single women face. In fact, it seems as though, as the woman matures, so does the desire for marriage. It deepens and grows and (if one is not careful) grows into a mammoth monster.
But, lo, there is hope! We must realize that God is LOVE, God is sovereign, and God rules and reigns over the hearts of men (and women). Many times lately I have had to repent of the attitude of "God must be holding out on me!" No... God has given me everything I need. God has, for this moment, given me the gift of singleness. That gift could be revoked at any time (which would excite me! ;) ), but until that time it is God's gift to me to use for His glory. Also, my satisfaction needs to be in HIM ALONE. I was praying the other day in the car, and I realized that as I poured out my heart to the Lord, I was... satisfied. Not even the thought of marriage brought a sense of depression. He satisfied my longings. Hence, for us as single women, we need to focus on the Lover of our Souls, the only One who truly satisfies and knows our hearts.
Also, we need to use our singleness to bless others. I will never forget a conversation with a young, at the time, single woman from a college near and dear to my heart. :) We were talking about ministry at school and church, etc. and she said that I had encouraged her because I was a single woman not feeling sorry for herself but seeking to serve the Lord with my single years. Unfortunately, I have stumbled a LOT since that encounter, yet her words were impressed on my heart. I can do many things right now as a single that I couldn't do as a double, so why am I not content with that?! If I am not content with God's will for my life right now, then I will not be content with God's will for my life as a married woman.
Those are some Chanda Panda musings on the topic of prominence in my mind at this moment. :) Comments welcome!
Hold fast, single sisters! :)
alc
Carolyn McCulley has an apt description for what she terms, "extended singleness." Namely-- "One day past the wedding of a close high school friend." Having at least 4 close high school (or almost high school, if you count CMI :) ) friends get married in the past year (not to mention the unending list of acquaintences, former ministry partners, high school friends, etc.), I can relate to this definition and affirm that it is an accurate statement, at least in my own life. So, what do you DO if you are facing that (admittedly unattractive-- pun intended) prospect?
Methinks that there is a part of every woman's soul that longs to be loved... to find that "second half" of herself that she hopes is out there somewhere. To meet the one who somehow knows her heartbeat, and the one whose heartbeat she shares. To know that SOME young man out there (besides her father and grandfather) thinks that she is beautiful. To have a love so strong that it will last for 50 or 60 years and grow better with age. To love with a committment so deep that even at 70 and 80 they will be able to walk hand in hand down a country lane and enjoy it just as much as they did in their 20's. To know that she is a fit helpmeet for the man of God's choosing. Sentimental? Probably. Unrealistic? Probably. :) Yet, I see those comments and yearnings in women's eyes, whether or not they will admit to the feelings. How do I know? Because I see it in my own reflection in the mirror. Oh, we know how to hide it well. A smile, a laugh, an "I'm doing fine!" can throw most of the population (save the astute viewer) off the track.
Methinks that there is also a tendency to feel that God has somehow abandoned us as single women. In a world that seems filled to overflowing with doubles, why am I still single?! Am I THAT much of an oddball? (Please don't answer that-- that was a rhetorical question :) ). There is a sense of despair that creeps in and settles in the very depths of the soul. It is positively frightful, for one does not realize its presence until it has corrupted much of the mental processes.
What, then, is the solution? Has God abandoned us? It is an issue of sin, plain and simple. And the sin is this: Looking inward instead of God-ward, looking at circumstances instead of the One Who controls all things. Putting God in a box and declaring that someway, somehow, I, His finite creation, knows better! How many different ways are there to say "arrogance and pride"?! There is no easy answer, no "cure all" for the loneliness that single women face. In fact, it seems as though, as the woman matures, so does the desire for marriage. It deepens and grows and (if one is not careful) grows into a mammoth monster.
But, lo, there is hope! We must realize that God is LOVE, God is sovereign, and God rules and reigns over the hearts of men (and women). Many times lately I have had to repent of the attitude of "God must be holding out on me!" No... God has given me everything I need. God has, for this moment, given me the gift of singleness. That gift could be revoked at any time (which would excite me! ;) ), but until that time it is God's gift to me to use for His glory. Also, my satisfaction needs to be in HIM ALONE. I was praying the other day in the car, and I realized that as I poured out my heart to the Lord, I was... satisfied. Not even the thought of marriage brought a sense of depression. He satisfied my longings. Hence, for us as single women, we need to focus on the Lover of our Souls, the only One who truly satisfies and knows our hearts.
Also, we need to use our singleness to bless others. I will never forget a conversation with a young, at the time, single woman from a college near and dear to my heart. :) We were talking about ministry at school and church, etc. and she said that I had encouraged her because I was a single woman not feeling sorry for herself but seeking to serve the Lord with my single years. Unfortunately, I have stumbled a LOT since that encounter, yet her words were impressed on my heart. I can do many things right now as a single that I couldn't do as a double, so why am I not content with that?! If I am not content with God's will for my life right now, then I will not be content with God's will for my life as a married woman.
Those are some Chanda Panda musings on the topic of prominence in my mind at this moment. :) Comments welcome!
Hold fast, single sisters! :)
alc
posted by Chanda Panda | 21:02
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