Cute & Quotable
Being a teacher affords countless opportunities for merriment. I am going to take the opportunity to share some of the "cute & quotable" from the first three weeks of school. Enjoy!
All the 4th graders and up are required to write in cursive. This may not seem like a big deal, but to 5th grade boys, this is a tragedy to be compared with the world's (ok, city's) catastrophes. Hence, they will do anything in their power to avoid "cursive." Here is an actual conversation between Mr. D and a 5th grade boy (name withheld to protect the innocent).
5th grader: Mr. D, what do I have to do for this assignment?
Mr. D: Well, you have to write a little report, pretending that you are a reporter in Jerusalem at the time of Peter's sermon at Pentecost.
5th grader: Mr. D, I'm sure they didn't write in cursive back then, so that means I shouldn't have to write this in cursive.
Mr. D (stifling laughter): Well, no, you're right-- they didn't use cursive. However, they wrote in Greek. Do you know Greek?
5th grader: No.
Mr. D: Well, I guess you'd better write it in cursive, then. :-)
One of my older students and I had just finished a conversation revolving around Bob Barker, the Price is Right, and my dismay at the new host of said show. Break was over, and one of the freshman needed help with this project: find a word that fits this pattern-- consonant, vowel, consonant, consonant, vowel, consonant. Having racked his brain and been found wanting, he turned to me for assistance. I (since it was afternoon and my brain had reached the "fried" stage) did not really want to expend mental energy on said word. In frustration (and remembering our previous conversation) I blurted out, "Oh, BOB BARKER!"
The freshman gazed at me in amazement, then said, "Wait-- let me see if that fits!"
Wonder of wonders, "Barker" fit the bill perfectly. He and I stared at each other for a minute, then burst out laughing.
He said, "How did you do that? How did you know?"
I laughed and said, "I'm good... that's all." Not believing me for a moment, he laughed some more and went back to his seat. :-)
One of our junior girls was working on a journalism section in English. She came to a "Check-up" which asked her to write the five W's and one H of journalism. With great drama and aplomb she came to me and said, "I can't do this! I haven't even learned this!"
With patience I showed her the opposite page where she had just written the five W's (Who, What, Where, When, and Why) and the one H (How).
With a blank "Oh" she went back to her seat. Three to five minutes later she blurted out, "Oh, I KNOW why they couldn't tell me what they were! They all start with 'W' and 'H'!"
Exactly, my dear Watson. :-) I love it when light bulbs come on... even if they are a little late in turning on. :-)
Every day at school we learn verses. This year, we are learning Psalm 119... one verse a day. I am always amused when the littlest ones say "statues" instead of "statutes." Their little tongues can't quite wrap around that word just yet. But, by far my favorite this year was the little boy who quoted the verse from his PACE as follows: "Teach my people the difference between the holy and the propane." Stifling my laughter, I had to explain the difference between propane and profane. :-)
Lest I be accused of picking on everyone else and not myself, I will tattle on yours truly. Near the end of one day during the first week of school, I was talking with Mr. D about the possibility of going to a conference with them that Saturday in Wisconsin Rapids (about an hour away). He had mentioned that they were picking up another church family along the way and then carpooling.
Feeling a sudden burst of inspiration, I blurted, "Well, then, you could come and pick me up along the way because"-- here my voice faltered for a moment as I realized the utter absurdity of the statement I was about to make, but I gallantly decided to finish it anyway-- "my house isn't on the way to Rapids at all!"
He looked at me in astonishment, then started laughing. He said, "Somewhere, somehow, I'm sure that makes perfect sense."
Just not here. :-)
A favorite pastime of ours at school is the feeding of Wautoma's mosquito population. They have come in droves and apparently they will stay as long as is convenient for them to do so. Every day at lunch is a new experience in "mosquito feeding." This past week I was sitting at the table, warding off the loathsome creatures, when someone cried out, "Miss Chanda, there's a mosquito on your head!" Without taking a moment to consider the rashness of my actions, I took both hands and proceeded to slap both sides of my head. The uproarious laughter that followed assures me of my talent as a comedian. Never mind. The mosquito perished. And may many of his friends likewise perish in modes befitting their blood-thirsty ways. Amen.
I will try and jot down these little tidbits as they happen. :-) Teaching... there's nothing like it. :-)
alc
All the 4th graders and up are required to write in cursive. This may not seem like a big deal, but to 5th grade boys, this is a tragedy to be compared with the world's (ok, city's) catastrophes. Hence, they will do anything in their power to avoid "cursive." Here is an actual conversation between Mr. D and a 5th grade boy (name withheld to protect the innocent).
5th grader: Mr. D, what do I have to do for this assignment?
Mr. D: Well, you have to write a little report, pretending that you are a reporter in Jerusalem at the time of Peter's sermon at Pentecost.
5th grader: Mr. D, I'm sure they didn't write in cursive back then, so that means I shouldn't have to write this in cursive.
Mr. D (stifling laughter): Well, no, you're right-- they didn't use cursive. However, they wrote in Greek. Do you know Greek?
5th grader: No.
Mr. D: Well, I guess you'd better write it in cursive, then. :-)
One of my older students and I had just finished a conversation revolving around Bob Barker, the Price is Right, and my dismay at the new host of said show. Break was over, and one of the freshman needed help with this project: find a word that fits this pattern-- consonant, vowel, consonant, consonant, vowel, consonant. Having racked his brain and been found wanting, he turned to me for assistance. I (since it was afternoon and my brain had reached the "fried" stage) did not really want to expend mental energy on said word. In frustration (and remembering our previous conversation) I blurted out, "Oh, BOB BARKER!"
The freshman gazed at me in amazement, then said, "Wait-- let me see if that fits!"
Wonder of wonders, "Barker" fit the bill perfectly. He and I stared at each other for a minute, then burst out laughing.
He said, "How did you do that? How did you know?"
I laughed and said, "I'm good... that's all." Not believing me for a moment, he laughed some more and went back to his seat. :-)
One of our junior girls was working on a journalism section in English. She came to a "Check-up" which asked her to write the five W's and one H of journalism. With great drama and aplomb she came to me and said, "I can't do this! I haven't even learned this!"
With patience I showed her the opposite page where she had just written the five W's (Who, What, Where, When, and Why) and the one H (How).
With a blank "Oh" she went back to her seat. Three to five minutes later she blurted out, "Oh, I KNOW why they couldn't tell me what they were! They all start with 'W' and 'H'!"
Exactly, my dear Watson. :-) I love it when light bulbs come on... even if they are a little late in turning on. :-)
Every day at school we learn verses. This year, we are learning Psalm 119... one verse a day. I am always amused when the littlest ones say "statues" instead of "statutes." Their little tongues can't quite wrap around that word just yet. But, by far my favorite this year was the little boy who quoted the verse from his PACE as follows: "Teach my people the difference between the holy and the propane." Stifling my laughter, I had to explain the difference between propane and profane. :-)
Lest I be accused of picking on everyone else and not myself, I will tattle on yours truly. Near the end of one day during the first week of school, I was talking with Mr. D about the possibility of going to a conference with them that Saturday in Wisconsin Rapids (about an hour away). He had mentioned that they were picking up another church family along the way and then carpooling.
Feeling a sudden burst of inspiration, I blurted, "Well, then, you could come and pick me up along the way because"-- here my voice faltered for a moment as I realized the utter absurdity of the statement I was about to make, but I gallantly decided to finish it anyway-- "my house isn't on the way to Rapids at all!"
He looked at me in astonishment, then started laughing. He said, "Somewhere, somehow, I'm sure that makes perfect sense."
Just not here. :-)
A favorite pastime of ours at school is the feeding of Wautoma's mosquito population. They have come in droves and apparently they will stay as long as is convenient for them to do so. Every day at lunch is a new experience in "mosquito feeding." This past week I was sitting at the table, warding off the loathsome creatures, when someone cried out, "Miss Chanda, there's a mosquito on your head!" Without taking a moment to consider the rashness of my actions, I took both hands and proceeded to slap both sides of my head. The uproarious laughter that followed assures me of my talent as a comedian. Never mind. The mosquito perished. And may many of his friends likewise perish in modes befitting their blood-thirsty ways. Amen.
I will try and jot down these little tidbits as they happen. :-) Teaching... there's nothing like it. :-)
alc
posted by Chanda Panda | 19:46
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